


two tables over

by MissHawkeye



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Conversations, Based on a Tumblr Post, Blind Date, F/M, Matchmaker Natasha Romanov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 07:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3166247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissHawkeye/pseuds/MissHawkeye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve found it hard to be optimistic about the blind dates Natasha kept setting him up on. Her scheduling them at the restaurant she worked at was just another way for her to supervise him, or to witness his humiliation firsthand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	two tables over

Natasha was waiting with a pleased smirk as Steve entered the restaurant. Faltering slightly the look, he sighed internally and steeled himself. It was time for another blind date. For the past few months her attempts to find him a girlfriend of his own had increased. It didn’t matter how many times the dates ended early (from the girl faking a family emergency at the first opportunity) or in disaster (the time his date’s ex-boyfriend had shown up and given him a black eye), she wouldn’t let up. Natasha scheduling his blind dates at the restaurant she worked at as a hostess was only her latest way of supervising him. Or to witness his humiliation firsthand.

“You’re late.”

“I’m on time,” Steve looked down at his watch, paranoid.

“She was ten minutes early. You’re late,” Natasha repeated. She raised an eyebrow at Steve’s responding eye roll. He just could not muster up any excitement about tonight.

“Well I’m here now,” he sighed.

“You look handsome,” Natasha said, coming out from behind her podium to smooth her hands over the shoulders of his suit jacket. She tugged at the fabric and pointedly did not mention that it was far too large on his skinny frame. “I’ve got a good feeling about tonight.”

“You’re the only one,” Steve muttered. He yelped as she slapped him on the shoulder. “I’m just being honest. Bucky ever tell you the time a girl crawled out of the bathroom window to get away from me?”

“Yes, but you better not tell this story tonight. Don’t keep shooting yourself in the foot, Steve. Be confident and she’ll love you. Just like I do,” Natasha released him.

“I hope not, otherwise Bucky’s going to get upset and I’m not sure I could take him in a fight.”

“Billy, get this joker out of here. Seat him in your section, at the table with the pretty brunette in the red dress,” Natasha waved over one of the waiters. Steve reluctantly followed him, pausing only to yell back at Natasha, “our love just wasn’t meant to be.” He smirked when she flipped him the bird and offended the octogenarian couple waiting in front of her.

Billy led Steve through the restaurant before stopping at the table. Steve’s blind date looked up from her menu, and the breath was knocked from Steve’s lungs. She was dressed in a knockout red dress with matching lipstick, her brown hair curled to frame her round face. She was beautiful and completely out of his league.

“Uh, hello, I’m Steve,” Steve wheezed out, awkwardly holding his hand out. He remembered a moment later that shaking hands with your date wasn’t exactly normal, but before he could pull back, the woman had taken his hand. Her grip was firm and short like Natasha, and it immediately left a good impression.

“I’m Peggy. Please sit down,” she spoke with a crisp London accent. Steve hurriedly did so, knocking the chair against the legs of the table before sort of falling into the seat. He was already blushing, and Peggy was smiling politely.

“It’s--”

“Have you--”

They spoke at the same time, both breaking off at the other’s speech. They surveyed each other before breaking into awkward laughter. The tension dissipated slightly.

“Sorry. I’m not quite sure how to start a conversation. This is my first blind date, you see. I’ve been single too long to my friend’s liking. This was the first time I’ve agreed to one of her setups,” Peggy admitted.

“Then you’re lucky you got paired up with me, because I have a lot of experience with blind dates. My friend Bucky’s been taking me out on double dates since we were teenagers. And ever since he started dating Natasha, she’s made it her new mission to find me a relationship. I’ve been on five of these in the past two months.”

“That’s quite a lot. None of them must have turned out well, if you’re here with me.”

“Yeah, I’m not the most charming guy.”

“I’d beg to differ,” Peggy smiled. “You’ve charmed me. Or, at least, you haven’t repulsed me enough to start plotting escape routes in my head.”

“You do that regularly?” Steve asked.

“It’s a bad habit of mine,” Peggy told him. “I’m former military, and now I work as a private investigator. I’m very aware of my environment.”

“Wow, that’s impressive,” Steve glanced around the busy restaurant. “Let’s say I did something to offend you. How would you give me the slip?”

“Well first I’d excuse myself to the ladies’ room. From there I’d have two options. I could sneak past the kitchen and into the back alley, but there’s always a chance I could be caught and shooed away by the staff. The better choice would be to walk in the blind spot between this table and the entrance. I’d have already hailed a cab and left you with the bill before you even realized I wasn’t coming back.”

“Well at least you’re not crawling through the bathroom window.”

“Has that ever happened to you?” Peggy raised an eyebrow.

Steve paused before forced out an unconvincing, “no.”

The waiter’s reappearance to take their drinks order stopped Steve from having to explain further. But he realized that they had been sitting here for five minutes and neither of them had even glanced at their menus. He quickly picked his up with skinny fingers, requesting nothing more than a water and scanning the rest of the menu. Peggy ordered a white wine.

“So what’s it like being a private investigator? It must be exciting,” Steve quickly changed the subject.

“Hardly,” Peggy gave a particularly unladylike snort. “There’s not much need for private investigators nowadays. I spend most of my days perusing people’s social media networks and taking candids of cheating spouses. But I have learned some interesting skills.”

“Like how to pick a lock?”

“Oh, I’ve known how to do that since I was a teenager,” Peggy said with a devilish smile. She leaned forward and lowered her voice. Steve felt his body move, as if she were a magnet. “I’ve gotten very good at observing people. Their body language.”

“Oh? So you could tell me the life stories of anyone in this restaurant?”

“Well I’m not quite Sherlock Holmes but hit me with your best shot.”

Steve frowned as he looked around the restaurant. No one immediately stood out to him. “What about the waiter?”

“Well well,” Peggy suddenly sat back in her chair. She stared at Billy’s back, squinting her eyes in concentration. “He has a crush on the blonde waiter across the room.”

“And how can you tell that?” Steve was delighted. He hadn’t had this much fun on a date in...ever possibly.

“He keeps staring at him. He never has to look around the room to find him. He blushes every time they catch eyes. And from the way the other waiter keeps looking back, the feeling is returned.”

“You did not just figure that out from one look.”

“I was early. I’ve been watching them to pass the time,” Peggy glanced down at the table, then back up. She watched Steve from under her eyelashes. He gulped nervously.

“Okay, what about that girl in the red dress, two tables over,” he said in a strangled tone.

“You don’t need to be an expert to figure that out. She’s on her second glass of wine and she keeps checking her mobile. She’s been stood up, but she’s still holding out hope that her date is just running late,” Peggy sighed. “From my experience, they’re rarely running late. Poor thing.”

“I can’t imagine anyone standing you up.”

“I can’t imagine anyone escaping out a bathroom window to get away from you,” Peggy laughed at Steve’s blush. “But that’s enough about me. What do you do, Steve?”

“Uh,” he cleared his throat. He was momentarily distracted by the woman two tables over, who had pushed her chair out from the table with a loud screech and had now stood up. She walked determinedly towards the entrance. He turned back to Peggy, “I’m an artist. Not a very successful one, actually. But I’ve had a few gallery shows.”

“That’s amazing, Steve. I’m sure you’re very talented.”

“I’m decent. But I mostly pay the bills with other work. I illustrate children’s books and uh…”

“And what?”

Steve tugged on his collar. The room had suddenly gotten hotter. “And some romance novels.”

Peggy let out a full-bellied laugh that rang through the restaurant like a bell. “You draw busty women with ripped bodices and muscular men with the flowy shirts.”

“Basically,” he shrugged.

“My roommate has a secret passion for those books. She hides them in a chest under her bed. You’ll have to tell me the titles of the ones you’ve done, so I can check if she owns any of them.”

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence, just staring at each other. The lights had dimmed, and Peggy looked even more beautiful. It was almost like her brown eyes were sparkling. Steve could feel himself falling fast. As he opened his mouth to resume the conversation, Natasha’s voice suddenly interrupted.

“Steve,” Natasha sounded angry and cold. She was glaring at him accusingly.

“Nat? What are you doing?” Steve saw the girl in the red dress standing awkwardly behind her.

“What am I doing? What are you doing? Your supposed to be on a date with Darcy.”

Steve felt all the blood drain out of his face as he looked from Natasha, to Peggy, and to the girl who must have been Darcy back in confusion. “This is the table the waiter sat me at.”

“He must have been mistaken,” Natasha sighed. The anger left her expression, but her body was tense. She pressed her fingers to her left temple and crossed the other arm over her chest. “You’re both brunettes wearing red dresses. I pointed Darcy out to him earlier, but he was too distracted. Damn it, Billy.”

“But, you’re on a blind date too…” Steve trailed off as he looked at Peggy. Her pale face was now blotched red in embarrassment. She shifted awkwardly in her seat, all eyes on her. She cleared her throat, but her voice was high and embarrassed.

“It seems that I’m the one who has been stood up. There’s been quite the misunderstanding. I’m sorry for stealing your date, Darcy.”

“No worries. It’s not your fault,” Darcy sounded just as uncomfortable as all of them felt.

Steve’s heart was beating rapidly, so fast it was almost as if he was having a heart attack, but his body felt cold. Peggy stood up suddenly. “I’m going to go get a drink at the bar. You two enjoy your night.”

Steve felt powerless as Peggy walked away. He wanted to chase after her, to apologize. He felt like this entire thing was his fault. He should have insisted Natasha show him a picture of Darcy first. Hell, he should have remembered her name the first time she mentioned it. But he had been through so many of these farces, the possibility of the date going well seemed so low. There was no point in remembering the name of a girl who would, in best case scenario, let him down lightly at the end of the night. But then Peggy happened.

Natasha’s pointed clearing of her throat brought Steve back to reality. He stood up and looked uncertainly at Darcy. “Uh, should we?”

“Sure.”

She led him over to the table that had been two over from his and Peggy’s. The one they had been observing from an outsiders point of view just a few minutes ago. They sat down, steeping in awkward silence.

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, really. Just a weird situation,” Darcy excused him quickly. “So, uh, did you look at the menu?”

“Not really.”

“Oh, well, the spaghetti looks good.”

They perused their menus in silence. Steve, for the life of him, could not focus on the words in front of him. His mind kept circling back to Peggy and how well things had been going before Natasha’s interruption. He glanced at her over at the bar. She was greedily guzzling down a martini. She angrily chewed on the olive.

“Hey, Steve?”

Steve guiltily snapped his head back to look at Darcy. She was smiling self-deprecatingly. “You should go talk to her.”

“What? No. I’m here on a date with you.”

“Look, I was sitting here for like thirty minutes feeling like an idiot. I just broke up with my intern, I mean my boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend! And I’d convinced myself that I just needed to get back in the game. So I realized I’d been stood up and I felt like an ass. Had anyone else noticed how pathetic I was? I looked around, and I saw you and that girl. I mean, woman. Because with a body like that, she’s definitely a woman. And that’s coming from me. I’m pretty stacked, if I do say so myself. Anyway! I’m rambling. I watched you two, not creepily, or for a long time, but long enough to realize that you were really into each other. I want to be on a date like that. When you can’t stop talking and smiling at each other?”

Steve was shocked at her long explanation. Darcy blushed and shook her head. “You shouldn’t let that kind of chemistry go. I’ll be fine. I bet I can guilt Natasha into giving me a free dessert. Go talk to her.”

“But--”

“Go.”

“Thank you, Darcy,” Steve said as he stood up. “Good luck.”

“Thanks, man, but I don’t need your luck. It’s only a matter of time before I reel in another unsuspecting victim. I’m just having an off night. I’ll be in tiptop shape tomorrow.”

Steve was still laughing as he sat down next to Peggy. She stared at him in surprise, her eyes vulnerable. She nervously swallowed her olive.

“What happened to Darcy?”

“I don’t think I’m her type. Can I buy you a drink?”

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt "We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up".
> 
> Follow me at [queenatwell](http://queenatwell.tumblr.com/).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [two tables over [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4883026) by [blackglass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackglass/pseuds/blackglass)




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